From Stella, your emotional wellness AI
Letter to my future self
Write it in four parts, then choose the day to open it.
How to write a letter to your future self
A letter to your future self is one you write today and read on a date you choose. This page walks you through it in four parts, then gives you a calendar file for the day you'll open it, so it comes back to you without an email or an account.
Write the four parts
Where you are now, what's unsettled, what you hope and what you want to remember. Each part has a prompt and a first few words to start from, and you can leave any of them blank.
Choose the open-on date
Six months, a year, five years, or a date of your own. Pick a day when you're likely to have a quiet moment, like a birthday or the first day of a new season.
Keep it for that day
Add to calendar downloads a file that puts an all-day event on that date, with your letter in its notes. Copy, print or download the letter too, as a backup. No account and no email.
Examples: two letters to a future self
Two letters written for this page, to show how the four parts can sound. Neither is a real person's letter.
Example written for this page
To open in a year, written three months after a move
Dear me, a year from now,
Right now I'm in the apartment on Elm Street with one working burner and a view of the parking lot. I walk the long way to work because it goes past the river. Most evenings it's just me and a podcast.
What I don't know yet is whether this city will ever feel like mine, or whether I moved to get away from something I brought with me anyway.
I hope you've got one person here you'd text at eleven at night. I hope you stopped saying sorry every time you speak up at work.
Don't forget how brave the first week was, when you didn't know where to buy milk and went anyway.
Me, in November
Example written for this page
To open in five years, written at 40
Dear 45,
Right now the kids are seven and ten, Dad is in the care home on Fairview, and I'm the one who knows where everyone's shoes are. I sleep about six hours. I'm tired, and I'm also happier than I expected to be.
What's unsettled is work. I keep saying I'll ask for the four-day week and I keep not asking.
I hope you asked. I hope you still play pickup basketball on Thursdays, knees allowing.
Remember that the hard years were also the full ones. You were there for all of it.
Sam
Four parts: now, what's unsettled, what I hope, what to remember
Each part does a different job, so the letter ends up with a beginning, a middle and an ending you chose yourself.
- Where I am now
- Right now, my life looks like this. The ordinary details are the ones you'll have forgotten: the apartment, the commute, who you text most.
- What's unsettled
- What's still unsettled, the thing I keep turning over. It's the part your future self can answer, so say plainly what you don't know.
- What I hope
- What I hope is true for you when you read this. Hopes, not targets: things you'd be glad to read about, not a list to be graded on.
- What to remember
- What I want you to remember, whatever happened in between. Something true now that you'd like to still be true, or a kind word for a hard day.
Prompts if you're stuck
If a part won't start, answer one of these instead, in a sentence or two.
Where I am now
- Prompt 1
- What does an ordinary Tuesday look like?
- Prompt 2
- Who do I see most?
- Prompt 3
- What's on my mind most this month?
What's unsettled
- Prompt 1
- What decision am I putting off?
- Prompt 2
- What am I worried will still be true?
- Prompt 3
- What question would I love to know the answer to?
What I hope
- Prompt 1
- What would make me smile to read about?
- Prompt 2
- What would I like to have stopped worrying about?
- Prompt 3
- Who do I hope is still around?
What to remember
- Prompt 1
- What got me through this year?
- Prompt 2
- What did I learn the hard way?
- Prompt 3
- What would I tell you if you were having a bad day?
Choosing the open-on date
A letter to yourself a year from now is a good default: long enough for things to change, short enough that the letter still sounds like you. Six months suits a letter about something in motion, like a new job or a breakup. Five years or more suits a letter about who you're becoming.
When you finish, the page makes a calendar file in the browser. Opening it adds an all-day event on that date, with your letter in the event's notes and a reminder that morning where your calendar supports it. From then on the letter sits in whichever calendar you added it to, like any other event. If that calendar syncs across your devices, the notes sync too, through your calendar provider. Keep the downloaded letter as well, in case you change calendars before the day comes.
What the research says about writing to a future you
Psychologist Hal Hershfield reviewed research on what he calls future self-continuity: how connected people feel to the person they'll be later. The review found that when people see their future self as similar to who they are now, and can picture that person vividly, they're more willing to make choices today that help them later.
In a paper in the journal Self and Identity, Yuta Chishima and Anne Wilson had high school students write a letter to their future self. Some also wrote a reply from that future self. The students who wrote both showed a bigger rise in how connected they felt to their future self than the students who only sent a letter. This page gives you the letter. The reply is yours to write on the day you open it.
Source: review of research on future self-continuity, Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 2011.
Source: studies of students exchanging letters with a future self, Self and Identity, 2021.
If you'd rather write to your younger self
A letter to your younger self looks back instead of forward, and it's a different exercise. The unsent letter has prompts for it. If what's unsettled is a choice, the core values quiz can help you see what matters most before you write.
When talking it through helps
A letter waits for its date. What's unsettled is unsettled today, and sometimes it helps to say it to someone now instead of a year from now.
Stella is your emotional wellness AI. You can tell her what's on your mind by voice or text, and she helps you think it through or choose a small step when you're ready.
How do I write a letter to my future self?
Pick a date to open it, then write in four parts: where you are now, what's still unsettled, what you hope is true when you read it, and what you want to remember. Write the way you'd talk to a close friend. Small, specific details matter more than big statements, because they're what you'll have forgotten.
What should I say in it?
Say what an ordinary day looks like, who matters to you, what you're worried about and what you're hoping for. Name the question you can't answer yet, so your future self can. Leave out anything you'd rather not reread. If you get stuck, the future self letter prompts on this page give three ways into each part.
How far ahead should I date it?
A year is a good default: enough changes to make the letter interesting, and it still sounds like you. Six months suits a letter about something in motion, such as a new job. Five or ten years suits a letter about who you're becoming. You can also choose any date of your own.
How will I get my letter on that date?
When you finish, press Add to calendar and open the file it downloads. Your calendar app adds an all-day event on your open-on date, with the whole letter in its notes. The page makes the file itself and emails nothing. If that calendar syncs, the notes sync too, through your calendar provider. Download or print the letter as a backup.
Can I write one for a year, five years or ten years from now?
Yes. Choose In a year or In 5 years, or pick your own date for ten years or anything else up to fifty years ahead. For a long gap, write more of the now part: the prices, the songs, the people. Those details are what make a ten-year-old letter worth opening.
